ANJUM IBRAHIM

Mian sahib condemned it too

“So Mian sahib never bothered to go to Bacha Khan University (BKU), and need I add that was a tragedy that the entire world condemned and…”

“Mian sahib condemned it too, or his minions back home did.”

“But he hasn’t gone there yet, he did go to the Army Public School though.”

“Well, that’s because he wasn’t in the country when the event happened…he was enjoying coffee at Selfridges in London at the time.”

“You are so wrong – he enjoyed the coffee at Selfridges a couple of days later, the day of the tragedy at the University he was in Davos trying to lure foreign investors into the country.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, the day of the tragedy he was on an official tour, going to London was a private visit.”

“Oh, so not returning from an official visit when a tragedy happens in the country and then proceeding for a planned private holiday is justified?”

“Yes it is. Zardari sahib, if you recall, was on an official trip to some European countries when the natural disaster in the form of devastating floods in 2010 hit the country, he didn’t come back and need I add it’s a lesson well learned by Mian sahib.”

“That comment would irk Mian sahib no end – he reckons that Zardari sahib is running the party into the ground.”

“Let’s wait and see what happens in 2018. But hark back to the Zardari years – in 2010 some French photojournalist who all Zardis reckon was paid by the Sharif family took a picture of the Zardari clan looking at their expensive French property from a helicopter lent by the then French President and that was private time-out during an official visit. Mian sahib in contrast was in Davos on an official trip and went on a private visit later. But most importantly there aren’t any photographs of the Prime Minister drinking coffee at Selfridges after the BKU tragedy … what about the two marked differences in the visits you don’t understand?”

“OK, but I have a solution to any future tragedies that you may reckon merit Mian sahib’s visit to the site of a tragedy.”

“More outlay on law and order? More security to educational institutions? More…”

“Good heavens, no, to open Selfridges branches throughout the country.”

“I don’t think Selfridges would consider that as they have to look at whether the store will be financially viable, whether law and order issues…”

“Maybe Dar sahib can provide a sovereign guarantee for a loan…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“If you can’t lure the store management then you need to be satisfied with pro forma condemnation of any terror attack.”

“I give up.”