ANJUM IBRAHIM

Kulsoom doesn’t really like the Prince

“You were wrong… it’s the First Wife rather than the First Daughter that got the ticket to contest NA-120 – the seat vacated by Nawaz Sharif.”

“OK, but I was 50 percent right – I said the First Brother won’t get it and he didn’t; and incidentally Nawaz Sharif married only once and so referring to Kulsoom Nawaz as First Wife is not appropriate – First Lady now…”

“Well, first of all the, First Brother will be the President of the PML-N and so his glass is half full. Kulsoom Nawaz is no longer the First Lady though we haven’t yet seen the real First Lady…”

“Shush, don’t anger the real First Family. I heard Nawaz Sharif nominated the First Brother as the party’s next President though given that he also nominated him to contest NA 120 and replace Shahid Khaqan Abbasi as Prime Minister and then backed off I will have to see it to believe it.”

“You are so bad…”

“From my perspective, for the First Family the glass is full, not half full, my friend – with Kulsoom Nawaz taking the seat let’s be honest Shahid Khaqan Abbasi may still be in the job for only 45 days…”

“So Nawaz Sharif would be transformed into First Spouse… that would amuse Zardari sahib I am sure – from Prime Minister to First Spouse - while Zardari sahib went from First Spouse to Chairman of the party and President of the country.”

“Mian sahib is doing everything in reverse – his long march is from Islamabad to Lahore while the usual is the other way round.”

“I guess anyway, you reckon our Prince of Wales, the First Brother, would remain the Prince of Wales for the next 20 to 30 years?”

“Your trying to create discord within the family won’t work, so stop it. Anyway if Kulsoom Nawaz is the Prime Minister then the entire family can shift back into the PM’s House…”

“But I heard they have shifted all their personal belongings back to Raiwind?”

“And how long would it take the staff of the PM’s House to shift the family back?”

“OK, but I did like the way Kulsoom Nawaz comported herself when she was the head of the party – remember when the Two Brothers were in jail?”

“Yes, so did I! She is a nice lady and never says anything against anyone, has no twitter account that denigrates the opposition, is not implicated in the Panama Papers, has never lied in public…”

“Oh dear.”

“Well it’s true…”

“That means a delay of at least another decade for the Prince of Wales to be crowned”.

“I heard Kulsoom Nawaz does not really like the Prince – he didn’t ensure her nephew’s win in the bye-election.”

“Oh well… where do we come in! It’s all in the family right!”

“Right, except that whoever is the next prime minister would matter to us.”

“But as Shahid Khaqan Abbasi says Nawaz Sharif is the prime minister and would remain so.”