ANJUM IBRAHIM

Is there any ongoing confrontation?

“Concerning the ongoing civilian-military confrontation you reckon it’s the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing?”

“Depends on who the head belongs to doesn’t it?”

“Hey, I am talking of hands and you go straight to the head.”

“My take on the proverb you referred to about the left and right hand is that it doesn’t apply to our civilian politicians because it’s the head that determines whether the left hand needs to know what the right is doing.”

“And what of the right hand?”

“Same principle. And don’t refer to even handedness, let me assure you that there is no such thing….we are either left handed or right handed and pop goes the weasel.”

“Pop goes the weasel?”

“Yes and need I reemphasize that it is the head that controls the left and the right hand and determines when to pop the weasel and before you remark on this expression let me tell you two facts about weasels, first they are predators and second mink, of the very expensive mink coat fame, belongs to the same genus as the weasel and mink is an endangered species and its coats extremely costly and…”

“And someone with a Mayfair flat can afford a mink coat?”

”Absolutely as can someone who owned a Surrey palace.”

“I stand corrected but my understanding is that the same head cannot pop the weasel.”

“But does it know that?”

“I am afraid you are losing me, let me just ask you this about this latest civilian military confrontation whereby the head instructed the left hand or was it the right…”

“The right is the Finance Minister and the left is… is, who do you reckon?”

“Maulana Fazlur Rahman?”

“Nope.”

“Achakzai?”

“Nope, the meeting included senior government ministers and senior army officials only, no member of the alliance or the opposition…”

“When the head is in a noose then does it matter what instructions it gives to the left or the right hand!”

“Good point but the head has to look up to know the existence of the noose!”

“Agreed, besides a civilian government goes by the principle that the noose is time bound, not indefinite, unlike during a military dictatorship when there is no time limit and then there are affidavits…”

“Oh shush, but my advice is for the head to revisit a strategy that is patently evident to even a ten-year-old…”

“Ah, but a ten-year-old cannot pop the weasel.”

“Checkmate.”