ANJUM IBRAHIM

Mushahid’s letter to Shujaat

“I think Mushahid Hussain is challenging the people of this country”

“Hey, he doesn’t rely on common people like you to get him a Senate seat. Besides I reckon you just don’t like the follicle challenged.”

“I like Shahbaz Sharif…”

“Not a good comparison, SS may be follicle challenged, but looking at him one wouldn’t know that!”

“But Mushahid has enough money to take care of his physical challenges shall we say.”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway Mushahid wrote a very nice letter to his former party head, a relationship reminiscent of Blair’s poodle like attitude to George Bush, remember the Iraq dossier…”

“Don’t hold that against Mushahid, I mean the guy’s politics was forged in the Nawaz Sharif-owned smithy, and yes he paid taxes on it, and by taxes I mean he was forced to leave the PM House thrice, and there sycophancy is a basic requirement, I mean you can’t get anywhere without that basic characteristic.”

“As long as Mushahid resigned from his Chaudhry-bestowed Senate seat, it’s OK.”

“Well, let’s put it this way, he resigned around five weeks before he was to become redundant…”

“Redundant is a bit harsh isn’t it.”

“The Chaudhrys couldn’t give him his senate seat back because they don’t have the numbers in the assemblies while Maryam Nawaz’s media team seems to be kind of thinning, what with one becoming Governor, two being called for contempt of court and…”

“Mushahid has more integrity than the three you mention.”

“Right, integrity reflected by his abandoning the Q League when they had nothing to offer.”

“Mushahid says he has joined the PML-N when the party is in difficulty.”

“He needs to explain that as much as he needs to explain why he hasn’t done anything for challenges he faces with respect to his follicles, I mean there is the available technology. As far as I know the PML-N is very much in power, the party has the numbers to grant him his Senate seat…”

“I wonder if Maryam is happy with this decision?!”

“Maryam was there when he was taken on board my friend, and so Mushahid’s limits were set, owe undying loyalty to the Father, the Daughter and…”

“And as the Christian saying goes, the Holy Ghost? That may complicate matters…”

“Mushahid tweeted that ‘during meeting with Mian Sahib, discussed need to take forward his vision for Pakistan in 21st Century: Democracy: sanctity of ballot and elections on schedule as per Constitution; Defence: he took bold decision for N-tests in 1998 resisting all pressures and Development via CPEC.’”

“Hmm, he reckons we are back in 1999 perhaps someone needs to bring him up to-date.”

“CPEC is up to-date?”

“CPEC is as non-transparent as…as…”

“Not as Mushahid’s bald pate?”

“Don’t be silly, anyway Mushahid’s is as up to-date with CPEC as the Khan’s former second wife and a British Times newspaper’s writer commenting that Khan’s personal life has not been along Islamic lines.”

“Hmmm, you reckon Khan is in the Mushahid syndrome?”

“Khan is not follicle challenged.”

“I meant take a 180 degree turn, and after all such a massive change is possible as you know in life, repentance thy name is…”

“Oh shush.”