ANJUM ibrahim

Zardari was never on a retainer

“The Khan says Zardari sahib was to the Pakistan People’s Party what Captain Safdar is to the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz.”

“I disagree, Zardari sahib was never on a retainer, and had he been offered one he would never have accepted a retainer as small as that accepted by Captain Safdar. And need I add he would have also ensured an in-built inflation clause which…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“OK, the main difference between the two men is that Zardari sahib’s spouse was the country’s prime minister twice, while Captain Safdar’s spouse has never been a prime minister and in spite of her considerable clout with daddy her ability to inherit the party chairmanship is not assured, especially as all her loyalists enjoying strategic lucrative ministries and governorships are those who have changed sides in the past and may do so again once the party is no longer in power while the rest of the PML-N members may opt to go the First Uncle route rather than the First Daughter route…”

“I guess, but you know talking of the Khan he has one thing in common with Zardari sahib.”

“They are both Pakistani nationals?”

“You know that’s not what I meant; the fact is that the two gentlemen’s assessment of the possible results of the 2018 elections is identical: that no party would win an overall majority in parliament and independents’ would sway the balance in favour of one or the other party.”

“That’s true, but don’t you think Zardari sahib is more adept at luring…”

“The word is not luring but convincing with ideological…”

“If wishes were horses…”

“They are in this country and who understands horses better than Zardari sahib in this country!”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway Nawaz Sharif’s narrative is different, he reckons he will lose the case in the National Accountability Bureau court and his party will lose the elections because of interventions by spirits and that…”

“Please Mr Sharif, please get those lawyers of yours to stop delaying the process – you have about three weeks to ensure that the verdict is passed, which you are sure will be against you and I would agree as you have yet to provide any documents to prove yourself innocent, and you can then direct the Lisping Prime Minister to request amnesty for you and your favourite child which will be granted by the current President…”

“You will have to convince Maryam Nawaz Sharif first and she is a hard liner and reckons that her strategy is the best and…”

“She is thinking very short-term not even just short-term.”

“Well, maybe if convicted and jailed she can take economic courses because that discipline teaches the value of very short term, short term, medium term and long term.”

“Don’t be facetious.”