ANJUM ibrahim

Abbasids out of job

“The assemblies have completed their term and the Abbasids are out of a job…”

“I take exception to the use of the term Abbasids – they were the branch of the Quraysh tribe descended from the uncle of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, al-Abbas ibn Abd al-Muttalib. And were holders of the third caliphate of Islam while Shahid Khaqan Abbasi is the first of his family to attain the position of prime minister and as he discharged the functions of a night watchman…”

“That’s true but do you reckon, like a well known right wing English magazine projected, that Shahbaz Sharif would be the next prime minister!”

“Hey, the magazine is simply ill informed about our ways and means – it is simply under the gross misapprehension that some well known international survey brands are affiliated with their Pakistani counterparts but that ain’t so, no more!”

“Anyway, I wouldn’t mind Shahbaz Sharif as the prime minister - at least we will have a snazzy dresser. I mean excuse me but while Nawaz Sharif was expensively dressed yet his weight gain meant that nothing suited him; Shahid Khaqan Abbasi looked disheveled no matter what he wore. The Khan’s colour sense in recent months is way off…”

“Colour is important for spiritual reasons so stop. What about the Zardi (green) boys, Zardari sahib’s loyalists?”

“The Zardi boys are snazzy dressers, I would go so far as to add that the Zardis are one of the best dressed in the business but they ain’t likely to have their prime minister any time soon…”

“Business? I thought politics was about serving the people.”

“Ah you are rather naive …”

“Don’t be facetious, but tell me what Shahbaz Sharif would wear if elected prime minister on his foreign tours?”

“I would imagine a suit.”

“I was wondering about head gear.”

“He will wear what is appropriate - a top hat when he visits Theresa May, a Stetson when he meets Trump – yes I know Trump is a city boy but his knee jerk reactions remind me of a cowboy trying to tame a bronco which is in reality a hippopotamus and…”

“And what about when he visits Russia?”

“An astrakhan.”

“In China?”

“A douli, with a pointed top fanning out made out of bamboo…”

“President Xi Jinping doesn’t wear a hat!”

“So? Nawaz Sharif has never worn any hat but does that stop his brother.”

“There is that.”