ANJUM ibrahim

IK married a foreigner only once

“There are lies, lies and no statistics.”

“Hey the correct phrase is lies, lies and then there are statistics.”

“We are a breed apart. We may be educated in the best of universities abroad, we may have worked all our lives abroad, we may marry foreigners but we display contrary characteristics that defy all our education, experience, training and…”

“I would have you know that Imran Khan (IK) married a foreigner only once and Pakistani women two times, one was of course resident in the UK for a long while so perhaps not appropriate for that reason, and the incumbent is a long term resident of Pakpattan…”

“I am not referring to IK for Pete’s sake. I am referring to the usual suspects – whittled down to three on Sunday though the head suspect prefers Plus Three rather than Plus Two…”

“Head Suspect being the Sheikh?”

“Indeed and he did the usual: he talked about the budget being great for half an hour in a one hour press conference, and need I add there was nothing he said that was new, and he then wrote something down and got Firdous Ashiq Awan (FAA) to read it, and then they both smiled, I remember doing that in class three and four, and then he twice said to FAA to wind up the press conference, not caring that the mike was on and we could all hear him, and deflected all questions to the other Plus Two suspects and…”

“His narrative is not being accepted by the public or industry or indeed the farmers and…”

“The narrative is laughable – it’s a great budget, prices are rising not because of higher taxes and higher utility rates agreed with the Fund, but because of the rupee erosion.”

“The Economic Team committed this country to a managed exchange rate, the two signatories to the Letter of Intent (Advisor on Finance and Governor SBP) that would be uploaded on the Fund’s website as soon as the loan is approved…”

“Right and he inanely stated that as the finance minister he isn’t going to talk about the exchange rate even though his budget projections are not going to meet the IMF condition of 0.6 percent primary deficit due to the 150 rupee to the dollar rate used in budget estimates. I ask you: why would the Fund support the bailout package if this prior condition remains unmet!”

“Two things, first he is not the finance minister, and second this is precisely why there is a rumour that Sheikh has provided the Fund with budget projections based on more than 165 rupee to the dollar.”

“Hmm, too ridiculously transparent I say.”

“Don’t be facetious. Anyway I do reckon the budget presented to the people of this country may not be the one presented to the IMF.”  

“He also misspoke when he claimed that the government has doubled social sector allocations given that Benazir Support Programme was earmarked 118.6 billion rupees in the year just past, and double of that is 237 billion dollars – a programme subsumed in Ehsaas programme and not 190 billion rupees……”

“Maybe he was adding the subsidies to those who use 300 units or less per month – amounting to 216 billion rupees this year.”

“Where is that amount parked? Subsidy to Wapda/Pepco and K-Electric with respect to inter-Disco tariff differential is 162 billion and 25 billion rupees respectively…”

“Oh shush, the narrative is clear: the budget is great, a work of art and is backed by the civilian and the military leadership and if you don’t like it you are nobody…”